closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize