im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
