I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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