I want to make a zoo with you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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