What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
