Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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