last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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