I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
