so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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