he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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