We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
