Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize