Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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