Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
