Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize