he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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