from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
