I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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