the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
