We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
