I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
