the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize