I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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