i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
