Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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