Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
