yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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