sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
