I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
