She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
