Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
