she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
