officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
