just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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