So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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