OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
