Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize