We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
