Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
