are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
