I think I died a long time ago.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
