Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there's paper in my vomit.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
