Cold hands, warm shart.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
