we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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