he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
