How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She needs sedatives and a leash
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dicks are not precious.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
