well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
