I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
