it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
