LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
