Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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