That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
