your room smells of hookers.
And success
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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