I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
