Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
