I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
