I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
