Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
