You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
