That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
