umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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