I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
